Michael has needed new pants for several months, but keeps finding better things to do than pants shopping. He asked for pants for Solstice, and I felt bad about it, because our clothes generally come from household budget, not gifts budget. But after the harrowing icy adventure I went on this afternoon, I’m going to consider the fetching of pants as the actual gift; pants are a byproduct.
I’ve been thinking about next year’s Read Harder and I don’t know if I’m going to sign up. I’ll decide after I see the list, but so much of my reading this year felt…joyless. When I was reading books not on the list, there was always this unpleasant feeling that I wasn’t doing what I “should,” and I forced myself to finish several things I wouldn’t have otherwise. Life is too short for that nonsense. I have shelves full of books here in my house, and a neverending flood of good library finds, not to MENtion how easy it is to just pop by Moon Palace on my way home from Better Futures every week. I’m going to find a way to keep stretching outside of my comfort zone while not wasting so much time.
Michael didn’t feel well on Sunday and then just before bedtime he was struck down. Norovirus, gastroenteritis, colon weasels, choose your own adventure. I was fine all day Monday at work, even a little cocky in the afternoon, but I did have a cold and left work about half an hour early when the opportunity presented itself. The roads were icy and traffic was bad which I only mention because the fifteen minute commute turning into a thirty minute drive REALLY FUCKING MATTERED. It’s amazing how quickly this virus strikes. But all things considered I was really lucky. I made it home in time, whereas if I’d stayed until my normal time at work I might never have made it home. (At least it felt that way.)
Michael was still sick, though he did his best to take care of me. Target’s online ordering was no help. It would have been so great; order online, pickup at the counter, home in fifteen minutes. But he got there to pick it up and they said “oh, it’ll be another two hours.” HOW IS THAT HELPFUL? Then they wouldn’t let him cancel the order – he ended up having to call our credit card company to stop the charge. While he was sick, poor man. (All of my sympathy is retroactive, I was too busy begging myself to stop fighting and throw up already.) At one point I was pacing and crying in the hallway and had to basically banish Michael from my presence. He wanted so badly to help, but I had to be alone with my misery.
The worst of the attack was over just after four in the morning, a round ten hours of digestive catastrophe. It took days to recover to vague human function, and I still can’t drink coffee for some reason. I would not want to live like this for long, and I have a new sympathy for sufferers of dysentery, cholera, and the like.
I try to be grateful for something different about my body every day. There’s nothing like being reminded of how bad things can get to make you remember to appreciate the little things.
I was overcome with gratitude when we were done. A kitchen full of food, a full spice rack, an adorable house, an amazing spouse, work and volunteering that make me feel useful, tarot study, a healthy mom, a garden, a fulfilling craft, cats, friends, financial security, yarn – and to top it all off, my body hasn’t required ibuprofen in five days. It seems when I wasn’t looking, all my dreams came true. ((Quiet, you. I’ll worry about politics and the state of the world again in the morning.))
My sister Michelle and her partner Gary are flying up from Florida for the holiday. We usually alternate years, and it’s our turn to join them this year, but they are amazing and lovely humans who understand our desire to be in our new house (!) for its first Thanksgiving. We will definitely be making extra sweet potatoes and jello salad to say thank you.
I was unpleasantly reminded how low my alcohol tolerance is on this keto diet. One and a half of these little glasses and I was so drunk I had myself half of a panic attack. It was delightfully amusing before the anxiety kicked in, and at least I’m cheap!