Reminder: The following was written by my sister, and is reposted here to make it more widely available.
(Originally posted Thursday, August 07, 2008)
I know some people have been wondering where I went. At first I thought it was something I could keep to myself. I didn’t want my girls and friends and coworkers to worry, but then it became more. I got the worst case scenario.
I found out I was pregnant almost a month ago now. Wow it doesn’t see like that long now…..the past two posts will explain all of that. It soon became apparent that there was a problem. They said that I had a miscarriage. I took some time off work to get used to the idea. I was and am very sad, I thought I was on the mend and went to a DR apt to get some blood test updates. That is when I was sent to the hospital for a sonogram. I still wasn’t worried. I thought my DR was just being overly cautious. I called Joseph to come with me and called Tam and asked her to make lunch for the girls (I was planning on coming right back for the them).
They made us wait in the triage dept for the sonogram. Pregnant women came in in labor. There was a hospital tour going on for some newly pregnant women. I fought back the tears…..untill the second tour came around. Then I escaped to the bathroom.
Finally they called me to go far away to the sonogram dept. The tech seemed pretty unconcerned and I was starting to feel relieved. Joseph started talking about going to get lunch before we got the girls- some BBQ place that is yummy but usually to far away to go to. They sent us back to triage to wait for the results. That was when the Dr’s office called I was scheduled to go into surgery in 45 minutes. I had to have at least three procedures. (lathroscopy, hysteroscopy, and a D&C) and maybe a few more. They were asking if I had eaten and no I had not…I’d been running late. Goo [her brother] was supposed to watch the girls and had not been here so I had rushed them to work without even a coffee or a Starbucks stop….
I text Tam and asked her if she could pick up the girls if this took too long…..Thanks Tam!
They rushed me back to another room. They wanted to wheel chair me but I told them I could walk. A nurse tried to hug me and I asked her not to. She was trying to be nice but it was making me feel worse…..The Dr’s receptionist hugged me on the way out of the office too, come to think of it…..
They made Joseph go to the waiting room while they prepped me. AKA took my clothes away and put me in a big expandable gown with warm air. They gave me ugly warm socks too. Then they let him come back. After that the proceeded to stab me over and over to get my blood. I am covered in bruises. They gave me 4 medications and then it was time to go. Joseph kissed me goodbye and looked so scared. I was trying to be brave for him.
In the operating room there was a mean nurse, a nice nurse, and the DR. They started to gas me and I remember I started crying. The DR held my hand. The nice nurse said just breathe and I was out.
I faintly remember the kids playing and hearing music.
I woke up in the recovery room aka the same room I was in before saying “Megan and Derek are playing”….which they were. Hours had gone by. I asked where Joseph was….still in the waiting room……I asked to go to the bathroom they said no….I asked for a drink they said no again……It was after 6 I had not eaten since 8 the night before and they were wondering why my potassium, calcium, and magnesium were low. They called a cardiologist. A HEART DR! I was scared to death again….they tried to stab me some more. Finally Joseph came in, he brought me roses. They said I could not eat for 5 hours and I could not leave in till my levels from starvation came up so I had to spend the night.
Tam had taken the girls to Jyme because it was late. Joseph left to go pick them up. By this time Megan was worried to death.
I had the nicest nurse with a English accent….yeah it was like I mail ordered her…..she snuck me some ginger ale 3 times….I over heard another patient who was about to get the same procedure I did and started to cry for her……..then my nurse wheeled me to my room. I got to order food and finally eat! When they got my order wrong the nurse called and fixed it even…I wasn’t going to complain.
I watched bad TV while I ate and had IVs of fluids. I talked to Chelsea on the phone. Finally I went to sleep around 2 am.
They woke me up at 6…..well I was already awake and ordering breakfast. Joseph was on the way to get me. I tried walking around. I felt like I had just had a c-section but without the joy of a baby to encourage you to get up and walk around. Really there are 3 places where they opened me up….One in my belly button (ICK) and one below that and one on part of my c section scar. They filled me up with air which made my shoulder hurt like after a c-section and made me look about 5 months pregnant…..which was just depressing and unfair.
Joseph and Megan came to get me, we stopped to get my pain meds, and come home. We decided to tell Megan and Goo what happened sense it is not every day that I spend the night at the hospital. I didn’t want her to worry and think it was something worse than it was….but I also though she deserved to know why we were so sad.
We told her that we were going to have a baby, but it was sick, so they had to take it out of me so I would not get sick too. We assured her that it didn’t look like a baby yet….it was only a possibility of a baby. She took it well. We told her we might plant a tree to remember it by….She listened because I heard her tell Marilyn [Megan’s grandmother] the exact same story yesterday.
Tuesday I was in a lot of pain physically and emotionally. Joseph slept on the couch and waited on me hand and foot. Wednesday was very hard to walk around too….but I did get a shower in and it made me feel better. Joseph came home and cleaned and cooked and I felt helpless yet again. Marilyn sent me flowers which was nice.
Today is Thursday. The swelling has gone down some and I am not in as much pain although my shoulder does still hurt. I am sad still….it hurts physically to cry so I am trying not to. I joined a support group online.
The only past story of ectopic pregnancy I has heard of was a story line on All My Children when I was in high school. I am hoping that maybe this will help someone else who is doing some google search. The thought of helping someone else get through this is the only sense I can make of it all. I am going to open the last two posts to public viewing too. They are open and honest and blunt but maybe it can help someone. When I wrote them I knew they would one day be public too….I just was not sure when.
I go back to the DR Monday. He will tell me if I was going to have twins and miscarried one because the other was ectopic which is suspected. Tuesday I should be able to go back to work. Maybe if the story is here I won’t have to tell it over and over again. Open house is next Friday so it will be a good time to go back and start over. I don’t know if there will ever be any real answers but the thought of helping someone else is what is making this bearable.