I’m the first to declare that other people’s diets are boring.  Hell, my own diet is boring, so I’ll get this over with quick.

Don’t worry, I haven’t fallen off of the Body Acceptance wagon. No, our doctor has us both doing a three-week elimination diet (blood tests, inflammation markers, blah medical blah).  No caffeine, sugar, dairy, soy, wheat, corn, oats, nuts, eggs, citrus, nor any oils but olive and coconut.  So we used up or gave away all of the unqualified perishables, made a $200 trip to the co-op, and here we are.

We’re about seventy-two hours in, and it is so hard to find anything to eat!  All we have are unfamiliar ingredients and rice-based confusion.  I really want to just buy a few gallons of Naked juice and a bushel of avocados to live on until the twentieth.  Don’t even get me started on how hard it is to find something to order at any of the various knit nights…

Also, I am being reminded, intimately, of the feminist-rage facet of my general anti-diet stance. Before this week, I would not have listed pizza as my favorite food, but it seems like a good third of my brain capacity is now taken up with daydreams of the Neapolitan pizza from Punch.  That’s a lot of brain power that could be turned toward, you know, fighting the patriarchy or something. I can’t come up with anything better right now, because the Flavor-Up alert from Izzy’s Ice Cream just popped up in my Twitter feed.

(I’m cribbing most of this entry from my YOTS post on Ravelry.)

My stash has gotten…unwieldy.  I don’t believe in stash guilt (right, Mandy?) so I don’t feel bad about it.  I’m just…overwhelmed.  Wistful for the possibilities that are being buried amongst their brethren.  But I feel the same way about “yarn diets” as I do about real diets (don’t work, make things worse, result in bingeing and recrimination and everything being bigger than it was the year before).

Enter my friend Emily.  She and her compatriots came up with the Year of the Stash/UFO.  It’s a simple concept; knit twelve projects (including UFOs) out of stash yarn before the end of the year.  You can still buy as much yarn as you like, knit all the things from new yarn that you can manage, as long as you also get those 12 projects done.  Hell, you could just say “Twelve hats!” and be done with it.  I think you know me well enough to guess that I may have gone…a bit farther.

Official Declaration

I will knit 12 projects next year out of yarn that is in my stash now, and from patterns that were published prior to this date. If I fail in this endeavor, I give up my rights to this skein:

Claudia Hand Painted Yarn Silk Lace

I might switch up the order of these projects, as long as I finish them by December 31, 2013. I’m also allowing myself the loophole of substitution: A project listed may be substituted with another comparable project (meeting the stash/publication requirement). A hat for a different hat, a cardi for a pullover, a pair of socks for a shawlette, etc.

January: Hemlock Bough Earflap Hat with Valley Yarns Northampton Bulky.

February: Through The Loops Mystery Sock 2013  with Kollage Sock-a-Licious

March: Mitered Windowpane Socks with Claudia Handpainted Fingering

April: Que Sera with Fiddlesticks Organic Cotton

May: Oz Vest with Mirasol Hacho

June: Netherfield with Claudia Hand Painted Fingering

July: Emma Shrug in Cascade Venezia Worsted

August: Pioneer Braid Scarf with Twisted Tasty Striping

September: Big Thaw Pullover with Araucania Toconao

October: New Quick and Easy Ribbed Hat with Rain’s Obsessive Stitchery Craig Bulky

November: Leaf Peeper Bandit with Koigu Felting Merino

December: Arch Shaped Socks with Knit One Crochet Too Pediwick

Bonus pattern:

I’m actually doing this one first, since it’s a late Xmas present.  Either I’ll exceed the goal and get 13 things done, or I’ll drop one of the others when things inevitably get overwhelming at some point in the year.  You know, like dropping the lowest test grade.

I remembered that I possess a magic phone, and immediately installed the WordPress app. I only have random notepad nonsense to offer this evening.

~~

I quit soda 3+ years ago, but for the past week I have been craving a Dr. Pepper like nobody’s business. I know that if I actually bought one, it would be too sweet and I’d throw it away, but that does not seem to matter to my lizard brain. The only logical answer is a trip to the movie theater, don’t you think?

~~

Michael plays touch football now.

He possesses far more than his share of adorable, but too bad, I’m keeping it ALLLLL for myself.

And then I’m going to sleep.

I had a particularly painful session at the chiropractor this morning, followed by an awkward trip to the grocery store.  I was already feeling wrung out and depressed (as is par for the second day of Shark Week), and once I got home I planned to spend the rest of the day on the couch feeling sorry for myself.  Until I discovered the delivery of a package from Rachel.

A new mug, a handknit cozy, and a bag of TARDIS Tea!  It even has my three favorite Doctors on the label! It’s delicious and I have already had mumblefivemumble cups.  Unsurprisingly I found a mysterious source of energy under the couch and managed to clean up the living room, bake a tray of yarn, glue together three broken figurines and knit the toes of a pair of socks.  Michael bought some yummy Chinese food from a new place and filled up the gas tank on his way home tonight, so all in all, it turned into a pretty good day.

Me: “This Traveler’s commercial makes no sense.  At least the Shelter Insurance commercial had the dog in a car.”
Michael: “Didn’t you know? They’re selling dog insurance!”
Me: “Would that be insurance for dogs to buy, insurance you buy to cover your dog, or insurance against dogs?”
Michael: “Yes.”

Also snow.

It kept coming down for six more hours after this.

My brain is cold.

So I was being all fierce and determined about finishing the Photo A Day challenge last month, but then I gave myself an RSI.   Other than the time I have to spend on the computer at work, I’ve been staying away from the computer as much as possible, so no blogging.

Knitting has been drastically curtailed as well.  I’ve probably knit a total of ten hours in the last three weeks. Given that I normally average that much in a few days, it’s probably safe to assume I’m not the happiest camper right now. I’m making some slow progress with visits to the chiropractor though, so I thought it safe to come in and say hi.  And also show you this:

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job?  My coworkers are awesome, I’m making a difference in people’s lives, I’m right in my political sweet spot, and we get to decorate with condoms.  (Well, Emily does; but we enjoy the heck out of her handiwork.)

My bag, from Gwen!  She made herself one this past Spring, and I gushed over its amazingness so much that she offered to make me one, possibly in self-defense.

I saved up for a while, which was a good thing, because the materials cost just under $200.  Nearly half of that was for the spectacular fabric. The sheep are a Japanese import, and I’ve never seen anything else like it – adorable without being cutesy, and the grey color is wholly perfect.  I don’t know how she managed to so perfectly match the webbing with the bright red lining – if it was an evil spell, I don’t want to know.

After we went on our acquisition expedition, Gwen brought graph paper to our knit group and measured all of my notions. She measured all of my notions and made individual pockets for them. This girl, I’m telling you.

There are padded pockets for phone, Kindle, and netbook, a big flat pocket for patterns/magazines, carabiners for keys and such, a water bottle holder, and a waterproof pocket, as well as those two wonderful snap pockets on the front - that also have pockets behind them.

I gave it back to Gwen for a week to make a couple of tweaks, and I had no idea how much I would miss it when it was gone.  The photo above shows it loaded with three WiPs, all my purse junk, and all of my vital notions; normally that means carrying three separate bags when I go to knitting groups.  This is so much better.   I am besotted with this bag, and its maker.